[Propertalk] Fwd: Sermon Resources for November 18 - Part 2

[Joe Parrish]

Humor: False Prophets and Messiahs
 
Several years ago, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks did a comedy skit called the "2013 Year Old Man". In the skit, Reiner interviews Brooks, who is the old gentleman. At one point, Reiner asks the old man, "Did you always believe in the Lord?"
Brooks replied: "No. We had a guy in our village named Phil, and for a time we worshiped him."
Reiner: You worshiped a guy named Phil? Why?
Brooks: Because he was big, and mean, and he could break you in two with his bare hands!
Reiner: Did you have prayers?
Brooks: Yes, would you like to hear one? O Phil, please don't be mean, and hurt us, or break us in two with your bare hands.
Reiner: So when did you start worshiping the Lord?
Brooks: Well, one day a big thunderstorm came up, and a lightning bolt hit Phil. We gathered around and saw that he was dead. Then we said to one another, "There's somthin' bigger than Phil!"
 
Tim Carpenter, Sermon Illustrations
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Is The Mule For Sale?
 
Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man. He would complain about everything. One day he went to the creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death. At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no. 
 
The minister asked "Why are you shaking your head yes for men and no for women?" Her response was, "The men would say how sorry they felt for me and I was saying, "Yes, I'll be alright." When the women walked by, they were asking if the mule was for sale . . . "
 
Staff, www.Sermons.com 
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"I Would Plant an Apple Tree"
 
Martin Luther was once asked what he would do if he knew that the world was coming to an end tomorrow, and he said: "I would plant an apple tree." In other words, Luther, trusting in God's gracious, unmerited mercy would live life just as he had been living it. When John Wesley was asked the same thing, being an obsessive-compulsive type, he said that he would arise at 4:00 AM, preach at 5:00 visit the sick at 7:00, go to communion at 8:00...etc., until the questioner realized that that was exactly what Wesley had planned to do tomorrow anyway! Because we believe that God is like Christ, we can dare to live in faith and hope and love now; trusting God for whatever the future holds, because we believe that God holds the future, and that God's Name and God's Nature are love. 

Donald B. Strobe, Collected Words, www.Sermons.com  
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Don't Panic
 
"Don't panic!" Those are the words I frequently say when someone has come to see me and they are in the midst of a crisis. They may have lost their job, had a marital crisis, a problem with a child, or found themselves in serious financial trouble. They are anxious. It seems like the world is caving in on them. They feel lonely and afraid. They can't see any way out of their predicament. 
 
It has been my experience over the years as a pastor that when folks are desperate they tend to run, quit or act in haste. I am not discounting their pain or minimizing the crisis, rather I am merely helping them to see that their perceptions have exaggerated the crisis. Or, they have a distorted perception of reality.
 
This was the case with the disciples. They were being persecuted by an oppressive government. They were powerless and under immense pressure. All seemed dark and hopeless, so much so that they wondered if the "end" was near. They were desperate, blinded by their anxiety and totally unable to see into the future. 
 
They are no different than us. Whenever things are happening in the world of epic proportions, like hurricanes, wars, catastrophes or plagues there are those who believe that the world is coming to an end.
 
Keith Wagner, Are You Having an Anxiety Attack? 
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History is Going Somewhere
 
William Barclay wrote in his book The Mind of St. Paul, "The great value of the doctrine of the Second Coming is that it guarantees that history is going somewhere. We cannot tell how it will happen. We cannot take as literal truth the Jewish pictures of it which Paul used. We need not think of a physical coming of Christ in the clouds, or a physical trumpet blast. But what the doctrine of the Second Coming conserves is the tremendous fact that there is one divine, far-off event to which the whole creation is moving; there is a consummation; there is a final triumph of God." 
 
William Barclay, The Mind of St. Paul, New York: Harper and Bros. 1958, p.229 
 
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Gollum's Riddle
 
In the Hobbit by JRR Tolkein Bilbo Baggins has met Gollum for the first time. Bilbo is lost and needs to find his way out of Gollum's cave. Gollum will show him the way out if he can answer a riddle.
 
This thing all things devours,
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stone to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.
 
Bilbo is stumped...
 
The rest of this illustration, as well as many additional illustrations and sermons for this week, Thanksgiving, and Advent, can be accessed at www.Sermons.com. 
 
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